Adopting a special needs child. What does that mean to us? Before Levi, as an occupational therapist, I would have said a child with significant medical issues that impair their everyday activities. A child that requires a lot of special care. A child That I would be scared to death to parent. But God changed my heart. I have come to realize, in reality, we all have issues, whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. We all require extra "special" care. So, when you come right down to it, aren't we all special needs?
Since day one, when I look at Levi 's sweet face, I don't see a special needs child. I see a child that is special. A child that needs a family. But not a special needs child. Do I sometimes catch myself feeling overwhelmed with what we may be getting into? Yes. I worry about how levi will handle so many surgeries. Will his heart be strong enough to pull through? Will he be able to run and play with his brothers and sisters? I worry about the time that may be taken from our other children. How they are going to handle it. Is there enough of me to go around? How our family and life will be affected. Right now my life is perfect. It's like a clean little box. All organized, predictable, neat, and comfortable. But as I was praying about Levi, God challenged me. He does not desire us to be comfortable. For then we do not rely on Him. He does not want our lives to be neat, organized, and predictable, for then we do not trust Him to provide and take care of our needs. It's not that He desires our lives to be a mess or chaotic, but it is in the times of "mess" that we tend to grow and turn to Christ. It's the time when we are closest to Him, depending on Him. It is in that time that we are most dedicated to Him and open to His leading. When we are out of our comfort zone it is God's blessing in disguise. I know we are in God's will. I know that God wants the best for us. For our family. I have no doubt that Levi is going to be a blessing to our family. In spite of all his needs, I have peace. I am excited to see how God is going to use Levi as he grows. I am thankful we serve a God that already knew the path we would take and that He has prepared the way.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Mark and I were able to Skype with Levi last night! (well, today for Levi!) What a cutie. As soon as he saw us he smiled and waved real big. He said "Ni Hao Baba and Mama." Then he blew us kisses! He told us he loves to draw and started drawing a picture of a flower. He told us he had been playing with CJ. He played peek-a-boo with me. We were able to talk about 20 minutes but then Levi was ready to go outside and play with his friends! We will talk with him again next week. We can hardly wait! He worried me a bit because he was breathing so heavy, although he was acting just fine. We were wishing we could just jump through the screen and hold him!